Are you sure?
Take a moment.
Perhaps you don’t want to look like a glutton. He’s getting a veggie pita and you’re getting the spicy lamb burger?!? How would that look?
Maybe you pass on the fries because the girls you’re with are trying to lose weight.
Or you decline the bread basket entirely because someone at the table is gluten free…skip your mimosa because your Brunch Buddy is pregnant.
These are signs you care too much about what other people think of your decisions. You’re not trusting yourself or your opinions/choices. You’re looking for external validation instead of relying on yourself.
Small decisions snowball.
Letting other people drive your decision making undermines your confidence. Makes you more likely to second guess yourself. First it’s food. Then it’s beer preferences…clothing choices…beer preferences…work projects…etc.
You might even have to redirect the server when he tries to give you the veggie pita instead of the spicy lamb burger you actually ordered.
Smile sweetly. Don’t apologize. Correct him…or watch quietly while your man corrects him (which is super fun, btw).
Anxiety, sweaty underarms (or in my case, Sweaty Feet)…they’ll all happen.
The thing is, though….
The more you order what you really want, the more comfortable you’ll be.
And – bonus – the more you’ll enjoy what you’re eating. Which will, in turn, make you less likely to drink too much or order/eat extra out of resentment and guilt.
And then keep practicing. All the way till it’s second nature.
When you’re comfortable(ish) with this new you, add to it.
Get the Brazilian Style you really want (instead of what he ordered or she suggested).
Investigate your dream vacation and propose it instead of latching on to someone else’s idea and being “nice” or “agreeable” when they make all the decisions.
Put the first draft of that big preso together without asking for someone else’s opinion first.