How to sound like you know about football

Want to hold your own in sports bars and at Super Bowl parties?

Need something to chat about with that new guy you’re seeing/crushing on?

Looking for a reason to wear a cute jersey on weekends?

Start prepping now. Here’s how to sound like you know about football:

  1. Pick a favorite team.
    Any team. It doesn’t matter WHY. (But make sure you have a ready answer for the why. Because you will get asked.)
  2. Pick 3 players on your favorite team.
    There are usually a few stars on every team. They get a lot of press, and are easy to follow. But there are also dudes who went to college at your alma mater. And people from your hometown. Guys with good hair.
  3. Learn your 3 players’ numbers and backstories.
    Knowing their numbers will help you ID them when they’re out on the field. And knowing their backstories will come in handy.
  4. Start watching Sportscenter. Regularly.
    Yes…you could read stuff online. But watching is better. Watching gives you highlights and commentary about a bunch of different teams. It lets you learn a ton without spending hours watching actual games. It breaks down plays and shows you info re: positions and points and stats. It builds stories you can store away and mention in conversations later. Plus, it has a little agenda that runs down the left side of the screen so you can see if discussion re: your favorite team or favorite players is coming up in a few minutes.
  5. Go see your favorite team play some games.
    A sports bar is fine – go with or without other people. It’s actually super easy to watch games alone – just sit at the bar. You’ll be staring at the screen with a bunch of other people who are also staring at the same screen…and they’ll cheer in all the right places. If you’re alone, it’s easy to eavesdrop on other conversations and learn even MORE about your fave team and players. You also get points from other spectators for being ballsy enough to go alone.
  6. Pay attention to replays.
    The game can get kind of long. But the replays. Replays are amazing. Everything is slowed down. Someone is usually explaining what’s happening. Your favorite player is often involved. It’s a perfect learning opportunity, and it gives you something to chat about with your neighbor.

With practice, you’ll start sound like you know about football. And that comes in super handy in a variety of situations.